I’ve been in a strange spiral of growth recently … one that feels slow, ambling, kind of pointless and frustrating to be honest (at least from my ego’s perspective) — and then suddenly punctuated by strong emotions like fear and anger.
In fact, I’ve been feeling so “bleh” due to my life circumstances right now (aka., a family member dying from terminal illness, and a cascade of other life dramas, not to mention the state of the world), that I’ve struggled to write or share anything here.
Nevertheless, I wanted to share something, so here are some raw and real pain points I’ve been dealing with recently:
- Thinking that I “should” be totally healed by now
- Finding new pockets of pain within me that I never knew were there
- Confusing the voice of my ego with the voice of my soul (yes, the sneaky bugger has been cloaking itself in a guise of “I am totally wise and can control things”)
- Struggling with self-trust
- Thinking I need to “improve” more aspects of myself to be loveable and acceptable
But let me resurrect some old Soul-channeled reflections here (that were directed toward others but equally apply to me which I wrote back in 2016):
When you’re emotionally suffering, the worst thing you can do to yourself is to invalidate your feelings and tell yourself that you need to be “fixed.”
One of the most dangerous but subtle spiritual bypassing traps out there is to live your life in pursuit of becoming “whole” or somehow more enlightened.
Here’s the truth: you are already whole! Just like the earth, sun, and ocean are whole, you are whole. It is your thoughts that are obscuring the reality that you’re already complete.
The very thought that you’re not whole and need to be desperately “improved” just perpetuates your unhappiness.
Self-improvement is a form of violence.
Yes, it’s natural to desire self-growth — I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that.
But the frenzied pursuit of being “better” or more than what you already are, or to forcefully “improve,” creates your suffering.
Self-growth comes from a place of natural flow and curiosity. But self-improvement comes from a disempowered lack mentality.
So examine the thoughts you have about yourself. Where do you feel incomplete or lacking? Replace your pursuit of perfection with gentle validation for what arises within you. Give it a try, see what happens.
Experiment and say to yourself, “I can feel this sensation of being inadequate/ugly/broken/insecure and I unconditionally accept it. I’m here, now. I don’t need this sensation to go or change. I allow it to be here.” Breathe into that feeling within you and open yourself to it. See how it naturally dissolves as you give it attention.
Any uncomfortable feeling within you is a messenger, a friend, an ally — it’s here to wake you up.
So … may I take this channeled piece of advice and truly integrate it.
And if you resonate with these words, I wish the same for you too. ❤️
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