I Don’t Relate to Spiritual Wellness People

It’s beautiful, intriguing, and stunningly innovative how spirituality can be translated into the way we look.

Mala beads, crystal necklaces, yoga leggings, hemp clothing, numerous tattoos, piercings, man buns, dreadlocks, esoteric symbols …

All of this stuff is interesting, and some of it I’ve tried in the past to express my inner spiritual values externally. But it doesn’t fit me.

It’s also beautiful how there are so many drum circles, yoga spaces, new moon rituals, reiki healing offerings, crystal healing, divine feminine goddess retreats, shamanic journeys, and other such offerings becoming more mainstream.

But they don’t fit me.

In fact, I’m starting to realise more and more that the skin of the “spiritual person” I’ve been wearing for so long is shedding from me like a snake sloughing off its scales. I just don’t find any interest in maintaining this image any more.

Something is happening on my path where I’m less interested in looking like or doing “spiritual person things,” and instead, I’m interested in the nature of the self and reality, and the deep truth underlying all things.

I feel an inner call to release more than gain; let things dissolve rather than accumulate more.

I’ve tried searching for so long for the answers in various spiritual circles. But yoga, crystals, tarot cards, rituals, spirit guides, plant medicine, magic, and even psychology will only take you so far …

In fact, I’ve come to one important realization recently, and that is that:

Wearing the “spiritual person” costume is exhausting. It is thoroughly fucking exhausting. Feeling pressured to look, do, or be a certain way (no matter how “elevated,” “conscious,” “high vibe”) is just another ensnarement of the ego.

One of my favorite teachers by the name of Adyashanti talks about the ego being a shapeshifter. This means that the ego can easily shift and appropriate spirituality for its own gain, morphing into a spiritual ego that appears a certain way to the outside world (hemp clothes, crystal necklaces, esoteric tattoos, raw vegan, yoga teacher, etc.).

Now, I‘m not saying that everyone who look’s stereotypically spiritual is ruled by a spiritual ego — those who don’t look spiritual and still value spirituality can also have a spiritual ego.

What I’m just saying is that I’m personally sick and tired of the whole spiritual person shtick. It feels like a distraction, it feels like a reinforcement of the separate sense of self which is at the root of our suffering.

So I’m on this strange journey of letting this stuff go. I think anyone on this path has a spiritual ego to some extent, and I certainly have one. Being a spiritual educator, it can be hard to see through this patterning.

But I’m happy being ordinary. I’m happy walking around in my mediocre T-shirt and pants. I’m happy not feeling the pressure to go to moon circles, and crystal healings, and quantum upgrades, and shamanic divine goddess groups, and satsangs, and meditation retreats and other such spiritual activities (not like I’ve done all of that stuff anyway.)

There is so much freedom in this: in the willingness to let go of the “spiritual-me.” This is an identity I’ve carried around for so long, and I’m sure it won’t be easy to fully let go of.

But I prefer to search deep than to go broad. I recognize that so much of what we do in the spiritual journey reinforces the artificial story of “me,” the ego that is the very thing we are trying to see through. To go beyond.

I’m interested in the deepest truths of life such as “Who am I?” and “What is reality?” and “What is true?”

I’m tired of spinning around the ringer of self-perpetuating and self-reinforcing forms of spirituality that create a sense of insecurity and inner lack.

I look out into the world and the spiritual landscape feels like a minefield of traps, snares, and delusions, all dragging us into a sense of needing to get more, do more, and be more.

Again, dabbling in different areas of spirituality can be helpful and empowering. But for me at this point, they feel unhelpful. They feel exhausting.

I don’t have any resolution to this post, other than simply sharing where I’m at. The truth is that I don’t relate to spiritual wellness people all that much, nor do I feel like I fit in with them. And that’s okay. After all, perhaps that is why I run a website called “lonerwolf”!

To end, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Adyashanti who talks about, what I feel, is the essence of spirituality:

Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretence. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.

Do you struggle to relate to spiritual looking people?

Like this post?

Stay connected for occasional emails on soul work, trauma healing, spiritual musings, guidance, and more! If you’re not already subscribed, you can subscribe here.

If you resonated with this post and would like to support my work, you can donate here. As a self-employed writer, all donations truly mean the world to me ❤️

7 responses to “I Don’t Relate to Spiritual Wellness People”

  1. Ha!, the mission of the ego is to keep you in perpetual “seeker” mode. It wants you to forever seek, but never find… (since finding would mean its own undoing)

    BTDubz, are you familiar with Rupert Spira?


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why would the ego want to keep a person in perpetual seeker mode? To an outsider like myself this makes absolutely no sense. The ego wants resolution, does it not? The ego is what accomplishes things and it wants control and success. I’m perplexed at this idea that the ego would want someone to seek but never find. Unless ego is another word for evil or a version of evil. But I have never thought of the ego itself as evil, although an out of control ego can certainly cause evil to happen.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. out of a sense of self-preservation, out of fear of its own dissolution

        the end of seeking means seeing through the illusion of the apparently separate, finite self (i.e. the ego)

        “Listen, O drop, give yourself up without regret, and in exchange gain the Ocean.” – Rumi.


        Liked by 2 people

    2. Hey Graham! Yeah, I’m familiar with Spira. I like him.
      And what you say about the ego is so true 😄 I guess that’s where the whole spiritual person shtick comes in, hey?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, I found Spira to have such a talent for clear explanations.

        Haha, yeah, I think that’s one of the ego’s sneaky tricks – subtly muscling in and grabbing onto the whole spiritual thang, and before *you* know it, you’ve identified as a seeker…

        Anyhow, gotta run – need to make some inroads on the reading list of 100’s of spiritual books I still haven’t gotten through yet… 😉


  2. Where you are at right now on your journey reminds me of AA, a spiritual program I am currently climbing through to affect a spiritual awakening in myself and get off booze. All of these AA people are spiritual. Very, very few of them look like a spiritual person, and I have been to tons of virtual meetings. They look like normal every day people. I live with someone who is into Tarot, astrology, mystical shops etc and I have a hard time understanding it. I think of it merely as entertainment. Similar to people who do role playing games, etc. Thanks for posting I enjoyed this one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this perspective ZeroSpace. I like the idea of ‘role playing’ – that, to me, is what the ego ultimately is, a role play, that we (mistakenly) take to be who we truly are. I think an inward spirituality, one that isn’t necessarily always reflected on the outside, is way more satisfying.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: